Teacher for sale, good condition, free(-ish) to a good home

Our essays are all handed in, the course is drawing to a close, and the only (hem) hurdle we have left before they hand out those shiny "QTS" stickers is our final placement. (oh, and a beautiful thing called a PDP. Everyone loves their PDP. It brings such joy into our lives).

Now comes the sticky business of finding a job.

Applications: 2

Jobs: 0

I am determined not to be put off, however many job adverts say "we will only send out application packs to the first 100 requests", or stories I hear about headteachers, inundated with applications, employing a highly sophisticated method of selction; i.e. throwing their stack of applications down the stairs and only reading forms which land on every other stair.